The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
