ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
