Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
