Tell her she can't have a vagina
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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