My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
