you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
