What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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