Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
