Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
