Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
