I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
