We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize
