She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
