Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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