at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
