I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
