i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
