at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
