i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
