Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
