Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
