He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
