insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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