with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
there is puke in my bra ... again
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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