Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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