Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
