I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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