Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
only you would photoshop your dick
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
