He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
