is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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