I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
