Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
