Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
organizing the empties. That sober.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
