Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
