She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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