Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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