a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
