Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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