I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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