i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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