Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
