So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
