I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
