oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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