Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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