She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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