and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
