Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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