So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
