Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My friends, they love my intelligence
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
