Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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