I am puke
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
