Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
